The Top 10 Resurgence Posts of 2012

Resurgence » God Family Mission Culture Human Trafficking

Before we kick off the new year, we would like to take a moment and look back at everything we discussed here on Resurgence in 2012.

In case you missed any of the most popular articles throughout the year, or if you just want to read them again, here are the 10 top posts of 2012:

10. CAN MEN AND WOMEN BE ‘JUST FRIENDS’?

Amanda Edmondson, September 25

Though men and women work, attend school, and socialize together, can they really be friends? Here Amanda Edmondson answers this question and provides some practical guidelines and boundaries.

9. 15 THINGS TO CONSIDER ABOUT ABORTION

John Piper, January 22

Sanctity of Human Life Sunday is a day that has been set aside each year since 1983 to observe the value of human all life—born and unborn. This post from John Piper captures 15 things to consider about abortion.

8. 9 WAYS TO FIGHT THE TEMPTATION OF PORNOGRAPHY

BJ Stockman, March 10

Unfortunately, there is a proliferation of pornography. This post focuses on a biblical and grace-centered way to resist the temptation to view porn. Though this post is primarily aimed at men, this is also helpful for the growing number of women who are addicted to porn as well.

7. PUFF OR PASS: SHOULD CHRISTIANS SMOKE POT OR NOT?

Mark Driscoll, December 6

This past November, Washington State and Colorado legalized the recreational use of marijuana. This decision, of course, leads to a host of pastoral questions and issues for Christian. This article is from the introduction of Mark Driscoll’s free eBook with the same title.

6. 8 WAYS TO PROTECT YOUR CHILDREN FROM SEXUAL ABUSE

Lindsey Holcomb, March 12

Heartbreakingly, many victims of sexual assault are children. Lindsey Holcomb, coauthor of Rid of My Disgrace with her husband, Justin, provides eight ways parents can protect their children from sexual abuse.

5. A FATHER’S FRIGHT OF TWILIGHT

Mark Driscoll, November 16

Twilight is an incredibly popular vampire-themed novel and movie series. Here Mark Driscoll shares his concerns with this series as a pastor and father.

4. 10 WAYS FOR MOMS TO RESPECT THEIR SONS

Jen Smidt, April 9

Respect is defined as a deep admiration for someone elicited by his or her abilities, qualities, or achievements. How can moms respect their sons without making them idols? Jen Smidt provides 10 tips for moms (p.s. dads can benefit from this article as well).

3. 5 NOTES ON DATING FOR THE GUYS

Brandon Andersen, August 28

As Christians, what does it practically look like to date? Brandon Andersen provides insight to help Christian men date in a way that honors God and the women they pursue.

2. SEX-TRAFFICKING AT THE SUPER BOWL

Justin Holcomb, February 2

Did you know that the Super Bowl, like other large sporting events, is a magnet for sex-trafficking and child prostitution? Did you know it is possibly the largest sex-trafficking event in the U.S.? With this article, Resurgence director Justin Holcomb not only reveals this disturbing reality, but also provides six practical ways that you can fight sex-trafficking.

1. FOR THE GALS: 8 PRINCIPLES FOR DATING

Jen Smidt, March 19

Though dating can be exciting, it can also be confusing, heartbreaking, and tumultuous. Jen Smidt looks back upon her dating experiences and provides eight principles she would have told herself years ago before getting married.

Originally Posted @ www.TheResurgence.com 

10 Ways For Mom's To Respect Their Sons

By jen Smidt

START EARLY

It is never too early to start showing that you respect your sons. I know as a young mom I was so concerned about discipline—when, where, why and how to discipline. I wanted this bundle of boy contained into a well-behaved, manageable package. Is that offense punishable by swat? Is he disrespecting me? Why is he so loud and messy? While those are fine questions to ask, looking back, I would rather have spent more time asking myself if I was treating my boys with respect.

My sons thrive in our relationship when respect is generously given. If I want them to look for a wife who respects them one day, I better demonstrate what that looks like now.

WHAT IS RESPECT?

Let me first say respect is not making my son an idol and bowing down to his every need. Respect is defined as a deep admiration for someone elicited by his or her abilities, qualities, or achievements. A mother’s respect is also not based upon her son’s achievements at the beginning (unless you count squirting her in the eye with confounding accuracy at diaper changing time).

“

If our boys are continually being shielded from natural consequences, they will have a distorted sense of self and sin.

”

A mother’s respect for her son is founded upon his image bearing of her heavenly Father and belief that God has given her a powerful gift to steward for a season. A mother’s respect is born out of respect for Jesus and the cross: his life makes my life and my son’s life possible. A mother’s respect is based upon her trust in God to develop a godly man, husband, father, and leader out of the tiny one that she holds but for a brief moment.

WHAT RESPECT LOOKS LIKE

I wanted to offer some practical principles to help show what it looks like for a mom to respect her son.

1. SET JESUS AS THE STANDARD

There is no man other than Jesus who demonstrates perfection. You will never go wrong in upholding him as the source, pointing to him as the example, and depending upon him for the answers.

2. PRAY FOR THEM AND OVER THEM

You aren’t in control of their lives, you never will be. What better time than now to put yourself in submission to God’s plan for your sons by releasing them in prayer? Mothers have an awesome responsibility to pray for the intimate details that she knows about her son’s heart.

3. WATCH YOUR TONE

Respect is often given and destroyed in the little things. I know the look in my son’s eye when I speak to him with a harsh or shaming tone—it is the pain of disrespect. Speak graciously, kindly, and firmly to your sons.

4. LET THEM MAKE DECISIONS

Start small with choices like red or blue shirt, and move to increasing responsibility over time management and bigger life choices. Give them opportunities to lead in your home: chores, devotions, and family nights can be planned and executed by sons growing in maturity.

5. SERVE THEM

Love them with food, fun, folding of laundry. Let them see that you are willing to sacrificially serve them. Teach them to be grateful and one day they may actually thank you.

6. TEACH THEM TO SERVE YOU

Respectable men serve others. Servanthood does not come naturally to most of us. As you cheerfully serve your son, make sure you instruct and involve them in active service also. There will come a time when it is no longer sacrificial but sinful for you to be folding your boy’s undies.

7. NO SECRETS

Hidden sin is an insidious trap for men. Cultivate a climate of open confession and generous forgiveness. It is much more powerful for your son to feel like he can freely confess sin than have to hide in fear of your reaction.

8. NAME SIN BIBLICALLY

Do not fall into “Boys will be boys” thinking. Differentiate between childish foolishness and downright rebellion. Instruct the former and correct the latter. Name their sin with accurate descriptions from Scripture so they can repent.

9. NAME CHARACTER BIBLICALLY

Read to them and have them study passages of Scripture that speak to men (1 Cor. 16:13-14). Have them memorize passages of Scripture that describes their identity and riches available to them in Christ (Ephesians 1) so they can rejoice.

10. LET CONSEQUENCES FALL ON THEIR HEADS

Respectable men recognize the painful effects of sin. If our boys are continually being shielded from natural consequences, they will have a distorted sense of self and sin. Let them feel the pain of their sin coupled with the restorative effects of grace.

Mothers, respect your sons. Give them this gift early on and by God’s grace, they will grow in respectability and become the godly men we recognized in them from the start.

Originally Posted at www.TheResurgence.com 

Manhood - Maturity and courage comes to those who seek it

Manhood from Hazardous Journeys on Vimeo.

Risk - The proving of leadership through adversity

Risk from Hazardous Journeys on Vimeo.

Dominion - To explore and declare the glory of God in creation

Dominion from Hazardous Journeys on Vimeo.

KidsDome Signs Amazing Grace (My Chains Are Gone)

"I Hate You... I'm Going to Kill You"

I read recently where mother from Texas was sentenced to probation, and lost custody of her children--for spanking her daughter! "Rosalina Gonzales of Corpus Christi pleaded guilty on Wednesday to injury to a child for swatting the two-year-old on her buttocks."

More than 53 million babies have been murdered in America through abortion, and the law says that's okay. No crime has been committed. But a judge makes a criminal out of a mother who disciples her child, and then he takes her children from her, leaving them without a mother. 

Judge Jose Longoria said, "In the old days, maybe we got spanked, but there was a different quarrel. You don't spank children." What planet does this judge live on? In days of old we didn't have kids who murdered their parents, shot their schoolmates, lied daily, stole whatever they wanted, blasphemed as a normal part of conversation, or killed themselves with drugs and alcohol.

How is a parent supposed to discipline a child? Andy Griffith used the woodshed. But that was in the days of old, when Americans didn't even need to lock their doors. Nowadays we do. Today our prisons are full of people who weren't given proper boundaries at home, and now they have immovable boundaries given to them by the government.

In Psalm 1, Scripture gives us a clear picture of what a godly person should be, as well as the reward of this godliness.

"Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper" (vv. 1–3).

Let's meditate on these verses to truly understand their meaning and consider how they apply to parenting.

God says that you are blessed (highly favored) if you don't listen to the world's advice. If you are tempted to heed the "counsel of the ungodly," consider that the world’s "ex¬perts" believe mankind evolved from monkeys. A little thought on our part should help us see why it's wise not to listen to their ramblings, but rather listen to what the Creator has to say.

The fruit of the world's godless advice is seen in the headlines of the daily news. Their counsel may sound right, but so often it proves to be wrong. For example, the world says that if you love your children, you will never physically discipline them. It says to seek alternatives rather than inflicting physical pain.

In the Book of Proverbs, written by the wisest man who ever lived, God's Word gives the following counsel:

"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction will drive it far from him." (Proverbs 22:15)

"The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother." (Proverbs 29:15)

It's commonly said that he who spares the rod spoils the child, but God's Word actually puts it more strongly:

"He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly." (Proverbs 13:24, emphasis added)

So there's your choice: listen to what seems right, or do what God says is right.

As parents, we should always do what the Word of God says to do, and often that's not easy. Applying the rod of correction (often called "the board of education") to "the seat of learning" takes resolution, as well as courage. But love will do it. The Bible says that in doing so you will save your children from hell (see Proverbs 23:13,14), and what parents want their children to go to end up in hell?

We should value the eternal welfare of our children, rather than our own temporal anxiety when it comes to applying discipline.

The contrast between God's ways and the world's ways were clearly demonstrated in an incident that occurred when our eldest son, Jacob, was six years old. We had a neighbor who would never even think of physically disciplining her six-year-old. When he refused to go to school, she would simply bribe him with candy.

One day Jacob said a word to his mother that he wasn't supposed to say. I sent him to his room, and then followed him a moment later. I asked him if he knew that what he said was wrong. He admitted that he did. I then told him to bend over his bed, and resolutely gave him a swift swat across his rear with a small stick. He burst into tears. I went to get him a tissue, then left him for ten minutes.

When I returned, I knelt down in front of him and we hugged. I then looked him in the eyes and said, "I want you to pray and ask God to forgive you, then go out to your mother and tell her that you are sorry." He did just that.

A few minutes later I was helping Sue dry the dishes while Jacob sat at the table, thoughtfully holding a pencil and paper. Suddenly I felt a tug on my shirt. It was Jacob. He reached up and handed me a note. It read: "I love my dad."

This made no sense to me. I had just caused him physical pain, yet even as a six-year-old he could discern that my motive was love. 

In contrast, the neighbor's six-year-old would point a toy gun at his mother and say, "I hate you, I hate you. I'm going to kill you!" Of course, he wasn't disciplined for that either.

Tragically, the world refuses to use the rod of correction to drive "foolishness" from the hearts of their children. The foolishness therefore remains in their hearts as they grow (atheism is a case in point), and many children bring their parents nothing but grief by ending up pregnant, in prison, with drug or alcohol problems, or with broken marriages.

Adapted from How to Bring Your Children to Christ, and Keep Them There.

Picture: Andrew Bardwell, Cleveland, Ohio.

Originally Posted @ www.RayComfortFood.blogspot.com



Do You Teach Your Kids the Gospel or Law?

Everything that isn’t gospel is law. Let us say it again: everything that isn’t gospel is law.

Don't breed despair in your kids

Every way we try to make our kids good that isn’t rooted in the good news of the life, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus Christ is damnable, crushing, despair-breeding, Pharisee-producing law. We won’t get the results we want from the law. We’ll get either shallow self-righteousness or blazing rebellion or both (frequently from the same kid on the same day!). We’ll get moralistic kids who are cold and hypocritical and who look down on others, or you’ll get teens who are rebellious and self-indulgent and who can’t wait to get out of the house. We have to remember that in the life of our unregenerate children, the law is given for one reason only: to crush their self-confidence and drive them to Christ.

The law doesn't make us good

The law also shows believing children what gospel-engendered gratitude looks like. But one thing is for sure: we aren’t to give our children the law to make them good. It won’t, because it can’t. In our hearts we know that’s true because the law hasn’t made us good, either, has it?

“ Every way we try to make our kids good that isn’t rooted in the good news of the life, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus Christ is damnable, crushing, despair-breeding, Pharisee-producing law.”

The story of Jonah isn’t about learning to be obedient or facing the consequences. The story of Jonah is about how God is merciful to both the religiously self-righteous, unloving Pharisee (Jonah) and the irreligious, violent pagan. The story is a story about God’s ability to save souls and use us even when we disobey. It’s a story about God’s mercy not our obedience. Here’s how a conversation with a child would differ if we were giving gospel instead of law:

“Good job, Joshua! Now what does the story teach us?” Mom asked.
Caleb’s hand was the first one up. “It means that we should obey when God tells us to do something, like go tell people about God.”
“Yes, Caleb, we are to obey God but that’s not the primary message of the story. Can you think of any other message?”
Jordan piped up. “Lots of times people don’t want to obey God.”
“Right, Jordan! That’s exactly right. I know that it’s hard for me to obey. I’m just like Jonah, too. Can you think of any other messages? No? Then let me help you. This story is a message about how kind and merciful God is. He was kind to the bad people from Nineveh because he didn’t destroy them even though they deserved it. He was kind to them by making them believe the message that Jonah told them. But he was also kind to Jonah. Even though Jonah didn’t love his neighbors (the people from Nineveh), God didn’t leave him to die in the belly of a big fish, although that was what he deserved. Instead he gave him another chance and kept giving him chances even though Jonah didn’t really love God or his merciful nature. God gives us so many opportunities to obey him because he loves us and is so merciful. God shows us how he loves us because his dear Son, Jesus, spent three days in a very dark place just like Jonah did. He spent three days in a grave after dying for our sins. But then he rose again from the dead so that we could be good in God’s eyes and tell other people about how loving he is. Can you think of some things we could do so that other people would know about God’s love?”
Different answers were shouted out. “We could bake cookies for our neighbors and invite them to church! We could offer to do chores for them, too!”
“Right! Now let’s celebrate God’s mercy and have a party with some goldfish crackers and blue Jell-O I’ve made.”
Adapted from Give them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson, © 2011. Used by permission of Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, IL 60187, www.crossway.org.
Originally Posted at www.TheResurgence.com 

Coffee For Dad - Skit Guys

The Danger of Moralistic Parenting

If a majority of our children are leaving the faith as soon as they can, something has gone terribly wrong.

Certainly the faith that has empowered the persecuted church for two millennia isn’t as thin and boring as “Say you’re sorry,” “Be nice,” and “Don’t be like them.” Why would anyone want to deny himself, lay down his life, or suffer for something as inane as that? Aside from the “Ask Jesus into your heart” part, how does this message differ from what any unchurched child or Jewish young person would hear every day?

Turning God into Santa

Let’s face it: most of our children believe that God is happy if they’re “good for goodness’ sake.” We’ve transformed the holy, terrifying, magnificent, and loving God of the Bible into Santa and his elves. And instead of transmitting the gloriously liberating and life-changing truths of the gospel, we have taught our children that what God wants from them is morality. We have told them that being good (at least outwardly) is the be-all and end-all of their faith.

This isn’t the gospel; we’re not handing down Christianity. We need much less of Veggie Tales and Barney and tons more of the radical, bloody, scandalous message of the God-man crushed by his Father for our sin.

“ Instead of the gospel of grace, we’ve given them daily baths in a 'sea of narcissistic moralism.'”

This other thing we’re giving our children has a name—it’s called “moralism.” Here’s how one seminary professor described his childhood experience in church:

The preachers I regularly heard in the . . . church in which I was raised tended to interpret and preach Scripture without Christ as the central . . . focus. Characters like Abraham and Paul were commended as models of sincere faith and loyal obedience. . . . On the other hand, men like Adam and Judas were criticized as the antithesis of proper moral behavior. Thus Scripture became nothing more than a source book for moral lessons on Christian living, whether good or bad.

Teaching Good Manners Instead of Salvation

When we change the story of the Bible from the gospel of grace to a book of moralistic teachings like Aesop’s fables, all sorts of things go wrong. Unbelieving children are encouraged to display the fruit of the Holy Spirit even though they are spiritually dead in their trespasses and sins (Ephesians 2:1). Unrepentant children are taught to say that they’re sorry and ask for forgiveness even though they’ve never tasted true Godly sorrow. Unregenerate kids are told they are pleasing to God because they have achieved some “moral victory.”

Good manners have been elevated to the level of Christian righteousness. Parents discipline their kids until they evidence a prescribed form of contrition, and others work hard at keeping their children from the wickedness in the world, assuming that the wickedness within their children has been handled because they prayed a prayer one time at Bible club.

The Bible Isn’t a Book of Fairy Tales

If our “faith commitments” haven’t taken root in our children, could it be because they have not consistently heard them? Instead of the gospel of grace, we’ve given them daily baths in a “sea of narcissistic moralism,” and they respond to law the same way we do: they run for the closest exit as soon as they can.

“ Good manners have been elevated to the level of Christian righteousness.”

Moralistic parenting occurs because most of us have a wrong view of the Bible. The story of the Bible isn’t a story about making good little boys and girls better. As Sally Lloyd-Jones writes in The Jesus Storybook Bible:

No, the Bible isn’t a book of rules, or a book of heroes. The Bible is most of all a Story. It’s an adventure story about a young Hero who comes from a far country to win back his lost treasure. It’s a love story about a brave Prince who leaves his palace, his throne—everything—to rescue the one he loves. It’s like the most wonderful of fairy tales that has come true in real life.

This is the story that our children need to hear and, like us, they need to hear it over and over again.

Originally Posted at www.TheResurgence.com 

How I Pastor My Family

By Justin Hyde from http://www.theresurgence.com/

Many people ask me, "What do 'family devotions' look like at your house?" or, "How do you pastor your family?" or even more simply, "Do you pray or read the Bible with your wife and children?" Here is one attempt to answer those questions.

1. Routine


Our family works best with a routine. My wife and I, and our children, have a reasonably regular weekly schedule. Our "family devotions" fit into the larger rhythm and routines of our household (e.g. dinner, bedtime, etc.). Additionally, it is important to note that there are explicit and implicit aspects to our daily spiritual devotion. The bulk of the explicit aspects happen at night between when I get home from work and when I go to bed.

2. Intentional Evenings

I get home from work between 5:30PM and 5:45PM each night. But I have to prepare myself before 5:30PM so that I can hit the ground running when I walk in the door. Though I am invariably tired from my day's work, I have to remind myself that the most important part of my vocation happens after 5:30PM, not before. I am tempted to mentally "clock out" on my drive home, which would be easy. Yet I have to consciously prepare myself to give more energy, more attention, and more dedicated focus as soon as I walk through the door and am greeted by my 5 year old son, 3 year old daughter, newborn son, and wife than I have all day. This takes prayer, practice, and intentionality. It's easy to fail. Husbands/dads, don't clock-out on your way home; be ready to be present and engaged; don't let your kids or wife expect to hear your formulaic: "I'm tired;" turn your phone off (I recently read something like this: "If you touched your wife as much as you touch your iPhone your marriage would be in a much better spot."); cancel your cable TV; repent of your addiction to new projects, hobbies, and distractions. Wives, be gracious; be forgiving; learn and grow with your husband; make your home inviting and pleasing; manage the stress level (for you and the kids) before dad gets home (i.e. don't let the water boil all day so that it's boiling over the top right when dad's car pulls up).

3. Time To Play

We eat dinner at 6:00PM. So I walk in the door and devote myself to the kids for 20-30 minutes. Rarely do I take 5 steps into the house before having a 5 year old around my left leg and a 3 year old around my right leg (and now, often, a baby in my arms). Dads, your kids are ready to see you. Ready to punch you. Ready to kiss you. Ready to play. Ready to build. Ready to read. And of course your wife needs this from you too if she's making dinner or just needing a break after her long day. Husbands, remind yourself daily that your wife is likely more exhausted than you are by 5:30PM. Serve her well. This is also a good time to teach the kids about setting the table, helping to pick up the living room, honoring mom, serving a younger sibling, etc. But mainly this is a good time to play.

4. Mealtime

We always eat dinner together around the dinner table. My wife is hospitable, creative, thoughtful, carefree, and eager to worship through a shared meal. Our table is often decorated with candles, and sometimes flowers. We drink wine. We celebrate. We laugh. We joke. We make silly faces. We eat great food. We often, almost without fail, enjoy a dessert. We hold hands to pray. We take our time. Our children are watching and learning and savoring all of this.

5. Cleanup

After dinner we usually clean up (sometimes we wait until the kids are asleep). The children help with dishes, help put things away, help clean up. It doesn't take long and the payoff in relaxation and focus is often worth the price of clearing the table and loading the dishwasher. Yet regardless of whether we clean up now or later, our attention is devoted to the children from 5:30PM to 7:30PM. After dinner, we play. We read. We build towers. We go on adventures. We explore. We tickle.

6. Bible Time

At 7:15PM we all start winding down and I tell the kids: "15 more minutes of ____, and then it's 7:30PM." My kids know exactly what I mean. At 7:30PM it's Bible time. We all gather in the living room (if we're not there already); we get the Bible; and the kids pile on my lap. For the longest time we read the ESV Illustrated Family Bible. This Bible uses the actual ESV text but the stories are selective and the images are great and colorful. Recently, we began using The Early Readers Bible only because Jonas received it as a Christmas gift. This is a great Bible too, but it's not the actual ESV text, which I prefer. It's a Bible written for young readers. Our 5 year old can blast through this easily, and sometimes I'll let him read during our devotional time, though rarely. At this stage I think it's important for me to lead this time and shepherd them as I read aloud. The great thing about The Early Readers Bible is the questions after each section. Very helpful. Dads, it's important for you to call the family together. Don't force mom to keep looking at her watch, to always be waiting for you, to nag you to get started. Call the family together. Get the Bible. Know where/what you're reading. Lead your family. Wives, this may be new or unfamiliar for many dads. Go easy on him. Encourage him. Honor his leadership. Don't undermine. Don't criticize. Model respect and love for your children to see. And remember, the kids are watching.

7. Questions & Answers

After we read a section of Scripture I ask questions. I ask questions about the story, about the characters, about the doctrines or themes within the story, about applying the text to the real life of 5- and 3-year-olds. In addition to asking questions about the text itself, our children also memorize the Small Children's Catechism by Chris Schlect http://www.grace.org.uk/faith/childcat.html. I cannot overstate the importance of catechism in the home. Someone has said, "Preaching without catechism is like building a house without pouring a foundation." So true. Other helpful resources are The Big Book of Questions and Answers (Sinclair Ferguson) http://www.amazon.com/Book-Questions-Answers-Ferguson-Sinclair/dp/1857922956/?tag=theresurgence-20, My 1st Book of Questions and Answers (Carine Mackenzie) http://www.amazon.com/My-1st-Book-Questions-Answers/dp/185792570X/?tag=theresurgence-20, and Big Truths for Young Hearts (Bruce Ware) http://www.amazon.com/Big-Truths-Young-Hearts-Greatness/dp/1433506017/?tag=theresurgence-20.

8. Family Prayer

Then we all pray. We take prayer requests (this is important because the kids need to see dad asking mom how he can pray for her). And each of us pray. Sometimes I ask the kids to pray for certain things. Sometimes I ask the older to pray for the younger. Sometimes they want to say the Lord's Prayer (which means you need to help them memorize it when they're two or three). Sometime it's random. Moms and dads, you need to guard this time so that the children don't grow to despise it. This needs to be an encouraging, graceful, loving, fun, sometimes silly, patient, and fruitful time. Be honest with one another. Teach your kids how to care, how to be sensitive to others' needs, how to articulate what they're feeling. Make disciples.

9. Bedtime

Now it's bedtime. Love those kids. Hug and kiss and tickle and snuggle like crazy.

10. Explicit vs. Implicit

Most of the above routine is explicit training and devotion. Yet each of those elements fit into the larger mosaic of what it means to be a part of our family. These explicit elements would only go so far (but not far enough) if not paired with the implicit aspects of the daily spiritual development that are more subtle and mundane. The implicit aspects are the constant opportunities to listen to your kids, to talk to them, to tell them about Jesus, to tell them about something you read in Scripture, something you've wondered about God, to connect the dots between dinner and worship, to live a life of celebration and sacrifice. The legitimacy of your "devotion time" is only as solid as the legitimacy of your devotional life. In other words, I reap the rich spiritual benefits at 7:30PM each night because I tilled the soil that morning, during the day, at dinner, and so on. Quality time doesn't replace quantity. In fact, you can only enjoy the quality because you've invested in the quantity. The implicit is the foundation that sustains the rest, only most people don't see the foundation so it's easy to ignore. Please know, I fail often. I need much grace. God has given me a forgiving wife and patient kids. Husbands/dads, this is the most important work you'll ever do, and it will have more impact than anything you could imagine. Wives/moms, encourage your man to lead; create conditions in which he can succeed. Couples, be patient and forgiving. Don't be short-sighted. Love well. And savor your time together. May God help us pastor our families well.

Originally Posted at http://www.theresurgence.com/ 

How I Pastor My Family

Justin Hyde Acts 29 Pastor - Brenham, Texas


Many people ask me, "What do 'family devotions' look like at your house?" or, "How do you pastor your family?" or even more simply, "Do you pray or read the Bible with your wife and children?" Here is one attempt to answer those questions.

1. Routine

Our family works best with a routine. My wife and I, and our children, have a reasonably regular weekly schedule. Our "family devotions" fit into the larger rhythm and routines of our household (e.g. dinner, bedtime, etc.). Additionally, it is important to note that there are explicit and implicit aspects to our daily spiritual devotion. The bulk of the explicit aspects happen at night between when I get home from work and when I go to bed.

2. Intentional Evenings

I get home from work between 5:30PM and 5:45PM each night. But I have to prepare myself before 5:30PM so that I can hit the ground running when I walk in the door. Though I am invariably tired from my day's work, I have to remind myself that the most important part of my vocation happens after 5:30PM, not before. I am tempted to mentally "clock out" on my drive home, which would be easy. Yet I have to consciously prepare myself to give more energy, more attention, and more dedicated focus as soon as I walk through the door and am greeted by my 5 year old son, 3 year old daughter, newborn son, and wife than I have all day. This takes prayer, practice, and intentionality. It's easy to fail.

Husbands/dads, don't clock-out on your way home; be ready to be present and engaged; don't let your kids or wife expect to hear your formulaic: "I'm tired;" turn your phone off (I recently read something like this: "If you touched your wife as much as you touch your iPhone your marriage would be in a much better spot."); cancel your cable TV; repent of your addiction to new projects, hobbies, and distractions.

Wives, be gracious; be forgiving; learn and grow with your husband; make your home inviting and pleasing; manage the stress level (for you and the kids) before dad gets home (i.e. don't let the water boil all day so that it's boiling over the top right when dad's car pulls up).

3. Time To Play

We eat dinner at 6:00PM. So I walk in the door and devote myself to the kids for 20-30 minutes. Rarely do I take 5 steps into the house before having a 5 year old around my left leg and a 3 year old around my right leg (and now, often, a baby in my arms). Dads, your kids are ready to see you. Ready to punch you. Ready to kiss you. Ready to play. Ready to build. Ready to read. And of course your wife needs this from you too if she's making dinner or just needing a break after her long day. Husbands, remind yourself daily that your wife is likely more exhausted than you are by 5:30PM. Serve her well. This is also a good time to teach the kids about setting the table, helping to pick up the living room, honoring mom, serving a younger sibling, etc. But mainly this is a good time to play.

4. Mealtime

We always eat dinner together around the dinner table. My wife is hospitable, creative, thoughtful, carefree, and eager to worship through a shared meal. Our table is often decorated with candles, and sometimes flowers. We drink wine. We celebrate. We laugh. We joke. We make silly faces. We eat great food. We often, almost without fail, enjoy a dessert. We hold hands to pray. We take our time. Our children are watching and learning and savoring all of this.

5. Cleanup

After dinner we usually clean up (sometimes we wait until the kids are asleep). The children help with dishes, help put things away, help clean up. It doesn't take long and the payoff in relaxation and focus is often worth the price of clearing the table and loading the dishwasher. Yet regardless of whether we clean up now or later, our attention is devoted to the children from 5:30PM to 7:30PM. After dinner, we play. We read. We build towers. We go on adventures. We explore. We tickle.

6. Bible Time

At 7:15PM we all start winding down and I tell the kids: "15 more minutes of ____, and then it's 7:30PM." My kids know exactly what I mean. At 7:30PM it's Bible time. We all gather in the living room (if we're not there already); we get the Bible; and the kids pile on my lap. For the longest time we read the ESV Illustrated Family Bible. This Bible uses the actual ESV text but the stories are selective and the images are great and colorful.

Recently, we began using The Early Readers Bible only because Jonas received it as a Christmas gift. This is a great Bible too, but it's not the actual ESV text, which I prefer. It's a Bible written for young readers. Our 5 year old can blast through this easily, and sometimes I'll let him read during our devotional time, though rarely. At this stage I think it's important for me to lead this time and shepherd them as I read aloud. The great thing about The Early Readers Bible is the questions after each section. Very helpful.

Dads, it's important for you to call the family together. Don't force mom to keep looking at her watch, to always be waiting for you, to nag you to get started. Call the family together. Get the Bible. Know where/what you're reading. Lead your family. Wives, this may be new or unfamiliar for many dads. Go easy on him. Encourage him. Honor his leadership. Don't undermine. Don't criticize. Model respect and love for your children to see. And remember, the kids are watching.

7. Questions & Answers

After we read a section of Scripture I ask questions. I ask questions about the story, about the characters, about the doctrines or themes within the story, about applying the text to the real life of 5- and 3-year-olds. In addition to asking questions about the text itself, our children also memorize the Small Children's Catechism by Chris Schlect. I cannot overstate the importance of catechism in the home. Someone has said, "Preaching without catechism is like building a house without pouring a foundation." So true. Other helpful resources are The Big Book of Questions and Answers (Sinclair Ferguson), My 1st Book of Questions and Answers (Carine Mackenzie), and Big Truths for Young Hearts (Bruce Ware).

8. Family Prayer

Then we all pray. We take prayer requests (this is important because the kids need to see dad asking mom how he can pray for her). And each of us pray. Sometimes I ask the kids to pray for certain things. Sometimes I ask the older to pray for the younger. Sometimes they want to say the Lord's Prayer (which means you need to help them memorize it when they're two or three). Sometime it's random.

Moms and dads, you need to guard this time so that the children don't grow to despise it. This needs to be an encouraging, graceful, loving, fun, sometimes silly, patient, and fruitful time. Be honest with one another. Teach your kids how to care, how to be sensitive to others' needs, how to articulate what they're feeling. Make disciples.

9. Bedtime

Now it's bedtime. Love those kids. Hug and kiss and tickle and snuggle like crazy.

10. Explicit vs. Implicit

Most of the above routine is explicit training and devotion. Yet each of those elements fit into the larger mosaic of what it means to be a part of our family. These explicit elements would only go so far (but not far enough) if not paired with the implicit aspects of the daily spiritual development that are more subtle and mundane.

The implicit aspects are the constant opportunities to listen to your kids, to talk to them, to tell them about Jesus, to tell them about something you read in Scripture, something you've wondered about God, to connect the dots between dinner and worship, to live a life of celebration and sacrifice.

The legitimacy of your "devotion time" is only as solid as the legitimacy of your devotional life. In other words, I reap the rich spiritual benefits at 7:30PM each night because I tilled the soil that morning, during the day, at dinner, and so on. Quality time doesn't replace quantity. In fact, you can only enjoy the quality because you've invested in the quantity. The implicit is the foundation that sustains the rest, only most people don't see the foundation so it's easy to ignore.

Please know, I fail often. I need much grace. God has given me a forgiving wife and patient kids. Husbands/dads, this is the most important work you'll ever do, and it will have more impact than anything you could imagine. Wives/moms, encourage your man to lead; create conditions in which he can succeed. Couples, be patient and forgiving. Don't be short-sighted. Love well. And savor your time together.

May God help us pastor our families well.

Originally Posted on The Resurgence Blog: http://theresurgence.com/how_i_pastor_my_family

Discipleship Starts at Home....

Part 2 Winfield Bevins (From: TheResurgence.com)
Discipleship Starts at Home Series [Part 2 of 2]

Start Early

You can and should teach your children basic Christian beliefs and how to memorize Scripture. This can be both fun and educational. You can choose short Scriptures to begin teaching your children. As you continue to learn the Scriptures, you can use longer passages such as the Ten Commandants and 23rd Psalm for when you and your children feel ready to go deeper. You can also use a short family catechism with questions and answers for you to discuss together that will help your children learn basic Christian doctrine.

Here are a few practical ideas that may help you disciple your children:

• Find a good children’s Bible.
• Remember to have fun with your children while learning the Bible.
• Keep the time brief to hold the child's attention.
• Recite the verse several times a day in your child's presence so it becomes familiar to them.
• Make flash cards with Scripture on one side and the book, chapter, and verse on the other.
• Put the verse to music or rhythm. Your child will enjoy singing and clapping their hands.
• Think of fun activities to make the verse fun and easy to remember.
• Tell them you are proud of them and have them recite it to someone else, like a grandparent or teacher.
• Pray with your children every day at meals and before they go to bed at night.

The Revolution Begins at Home

If we want a revolution of discipleship in our nation, it will have to begin in our homes. Discipleship begins in our marriages, by loving our spouses with the love of Christ. It happens by teaching, loving, and disciplining our children. When we bring the gospel back in the home, it will spread through our neighborhoods and into the communities where we live. If every family in every church got serious about making disciples in the home, it would change our world.

The great Puritan Pastor Richard Baxter knew the importance of family ministry. He said, “We must have a special eye upon families, to see that they are well ordered, and the duties of each relation performed. The life of religion, and the welfare and glory of both the Church and the State, depend much on family government and duty. If we suffer the neglect of this, we shall undo all…. I beseech you, therefore, if you desire the reformation and welfare of your people, do all you can to promote family religion.” Let us not neglect our duty to disciple those who are within our very homes.

Discipleship Starts at Home....

Part 1 Winfield Bevins (From: TheResurgence.com)
Discipleship Starts at Home Series [Part 1 of 2]

“A house is actually a school and a church, and the head of the household is a pastor in his house.”
–Martin Luther

The Great Need

I am the lead pastor of Church of the Outer Banks, located in Nags Head, NC. I am the husband of an amazing wife and the father of two incredible little girls. More than ever before, I see the importance of integrating faith in the home every day. Statistics for divorce are rising at an alarming rate. Statistics also show that between 70 and 88 percent of Christian teens will leave the church by their second year in college. More than ever, it is time for us to step back and rethink the importance of discipleship in our own homes.

Don’t Neglect Your Family

What good is it if you make disciples of your neighbors, co-workers, and friends, yet neglect to disciple your own family? This is what Paul meant when he said, “If a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?” (1 Tim. 3:5). This Scripture is not just for pastors, but is also applicable for all Christian parents. The reality is that we are not putting enough focus on discipling our own families, and instead we tend to leave the responsibility to the church.

Disciple Your Children

The call to “make disciples” begins in our homes first. It is our spiritual responsibility as parents to teach our children about the faith. The Bible tells parents, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6). As Christian parents, we should desire for our children to have a firm foundation and grow up to love Jesus and know what the Bible says about their lives.

Faith as Routine

Faith is not just something that we do once a week, but should be incorporated into the daily routines of the home. David Wegener said, “Reading and memorizing Scripture and the catechisms of the church results in incredible development of children, both spiritually and intellectually… What families regard as important is evidenced by the manner in which they spend their time.” How do we spend our time? Watching TV, playing video games, or shopping? Sadly, many families devote more time to these things than they do teaching their children about God, or just simply spending quality time together.

It’s Our Responsibility

It is not the churches’ or schools’ responsibility to raise our kids. Too often, we think that the church is more like a baby-sitting service to watch our kids for a few hours a week while we enjoy the worship service. While church is important, the Bible tells us that the home is the primary place of learning the Bible and moral instruction. In Deuteronomy 6:4-9, we read:

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

To be continued.