Dead Women in Combat: Does Anyone Care?

A Call for Americans to Cherish the Weaker Sex

by Wesley Strackbein, February 18, 2013

About the Author

Wesley Strackbein has served as the Coordinating Producer of a variety of films, including The Mysterious Islands. He handles media relations for VFM and is the Managing Editor of Vision Forum Ministries’ website.

Dead women — killed on the frontlines of combat — are no more a terrible sight to behold than dead men.So declared General Martin Dempsey, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, as he joined President Barack Obama and Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta in announcing a formal policy change on January 24 which removes the last restraints for women to serve in all active combat roles in the U.S. military. As part of a much-hyped and heralded public relations move by the current administration, Dempsey stated: “I’ve gone to Bethesda to visit wounded warriors, and I’ve gone to Arlington to bury our dead. There’s no distinction [between men and women].”^[1]

As shocking as this may sound, it accurately reflects the changing attitudes of most Americans toward women in combat.

Our nation has had more than a decade to digest the horrors of our servicewomen being maimed, tortured, and killed in foreign wars, as the U.S. military has increasingly expanded the scenarios in which our female soldiers are placed in harm’s way. More than 150 female soldiers have died in Iraq and Afghanistan as a result, and servicewomen such as Jessica Lynch and Shoshana Johnson have been captured and suffered severe torture as prisoners of war.

Yet rather than respond in outrage, Americans have largely viewed the sufferings of women in combat as no different than the hard plight of “one of the boys.”

In 2004, the New York Times ran a cover story which featured a gruesome image of a wounded female soldier, blood running down her leg, with three men surrounding her, screaming. Rather callously, the Times titled the article, “A Routine Burst of Chaos Leaves a G.I. Wounded.” In writing the piece, journalist Dexter Filkins in no way keyed in on the fact that the wounded G.I. was a woman — he reported the story as if she had been any other male soldier hit by enemy fire.^[2]

While this news article might be dismissed as liberal media bias, the majority of the American public is on board with our government’s recent decision to allow women to serve at the point of the spear in battle, where the brutalities of war are normally most fierce. According to a poll conducted by the Pew Research Center on Jan 24-27, 66% of Americans support lifting the combat ban for women, while only 26% oppose it.^[3]

Retired U.S. Navy Captain Lory Manning made this startling yet astute observation on the tepid reaction Americans have shown to female soldiers being harmed in war: “Everyone expected a hue and cry when women started getting killed in combat, and it hasn’t happened. . . . The American public is ready to accept a greater number of female casualties in wartime.”^[4]

The Law of the Innocents: Women Rescued from Combat Duty

Such apathy toward women in combat was considered appalling by past generations who embraced a Christian worldview. A powerful example of this occurred in Ireland at the close of seventh century A.D., when Adomnán — a Christian statesman, abbot of Iona, and biographer of Columba — denounced the placing of women on the frontlines of combat, promulgating a law to end this travesty.^[5]

The war practice of unconverted clans in Ireland during this time was despicable. When they formed up for line of battle, husbands placed their wives directly in front of them on the field. Often carrying a baby with her in a pouch, the woman warrior was given a thirty-foot-long pole with an iron hook on the end which served as her weapon. If the woman hesitated to charge and fight in the heat of conflict, the husband flogged her back to prod her forward. When a woman soldier was killed in battle, her breasts were often severed by the enemy as a war prize.

Adomnán personally witnessed the mangled bodies of dead women warriors when he and his mother Ronnat visited a battlefield following a vicious encounter between two armies. A Medieval source records that “they saw nothing more touching and pitiful than the head of a woman in one place and the body in another, and her little babe upon the breasts of the corpse, a stream of milk upon one of its cheeks, and a stream of blood upon the other.”

Both Adomnán and his mother saw the dire need to intervene, with Ronnat giving her son this charge: “to thee henceforth it is given to free the women of the western world.” Compelled to action, Adomnán drafted “The Law of the Innocents” which was enacted at the Synod of Birr in the year 697, with ninety-one signatories from Ireland and Britain lending their support to the edict. Among other provisions, the law stipulated that if “women be employed in an assault or in a host or fight,” those in whose army they served were to be fined seven cumals (equivalent to the value of twenty-one milk cows) for each woman they compelled to take up arms in battle.

Adomnán’s legal reform was a masterstroke which led to women being protected in war, rather than exploited as the sacrificial first line of combat.

The Chivalric Code: Women Must Be Protected

As Christianity continued to transform Europe, codes of chivalry emerged which made the protection of women and the weaker members of society a chief aim. The Knights Codes of Chivalry, recorded in The Song of Roland, was adopted approximately one hundred years after Adomnán and is Europe’s first known chivalric code to be preserved. Of the seventeen tenets of this code, three require the aiding and protecting of women: (1) To protect the weak and defenceless; (2) To give succour to widows and orphans; (3) To respect the honor of women.

The codes of chivalry that followed this standard enacted during Charlemagne’s time incorporated similar provisions. The later Ordene de chevalerie, a widely popular French work which was likely composed before 1250, stipulated that knights “must honour all women and damsels and be ready to aid them to the limit of [their] power.”^[6]

In the Medieval world, men — not women — took up arms and fought wars, while women were honored and protected as the weaker vessel. Rather than being placed on the front lines of combat, they were secured behind the lines of battle to ensure their safety and well-being.

The Biblical Foundation: Men, Not Women, Go to War

The world of knights protecting fair maidens did not flow from a backwards, unenlightened romanticism, but was based squarely on the precepts and patterns found in God’s Word.

Scripture stipulates that men are to take up arms in combat, while women are to be shielded from the horrors of battle. A prime example of this is found in the Book of Joshua, when the Reubenites, Gadites, and half the tribe of Manasseh were called upon to help the other tribes conquer the land of Canaan, even as they were granted land beyond its boundaries, east of the Jordan River. Joshua’s directions to these three tribes make plain how a civilized people is to approach war:

Your wives, your little ones, and your cattle, shall remain in the land which Moses gave you on this side Jordan; but ye shall pass before your brethren armed, all the mighty men of valour, and help them. (Joshua 1:14)

A census that Moses conducted a generation earlier illustrates that able men, not women, are to go to war:

Take ye the sum of all the congregation of the children of Israel, after their families, by the house of their fathers, with the number of their names, every male by their polls; From twenty years old and upward, all that are able to go forth to war in Israel: thou and Aaron shall number them by their armies. (Numbers 1:2-3)

The term “men of war” is used thirty-six times in the Bible and clearly indicates that those of the male rather than the female gender are to march in battle, as when Israel circled the walls of Jericho. “And ye shall compass the city, all ye men of war, and go round about the city once. Thus shalt thou do six days” (Joshua 6:3).

The Bible also provides examples of men taking steps to protect women when hostile parties threatened, with the men hazarding their lives on their behalf. One of the most poignant illustrations of this is found in the Book of Genesis, as Jacob was preparing to meet his brother Esau. Fearing that Esau’s band would slaughter “the mother with the children” (Genesis 32:11), Jacob positioned his wives and young ones to the rear of his party, while he lead from the front (Genesis 33:1-3).

The most significant example of all time of male sacrifice for women was modeled by Jesus Christ, the Second Person of the Trinity. Jesus suffered the scourge of torture, humiliation, and ultimately death to save His bride, the Church, and men in all ages are admonished to follow His lead (Ephesians 5:25).

America the Barbarous: A Call to Repentance

Our nation’s abandonment of biblical principles has led women to be devalued rather than cherished. As opposed to reacting with shame and outrage at the prospect of women facing the horrors of frontline combat, as Adomnán did 1,300 years ago, the majority of Americans are celebrating the placement of our sisters and daughters in the heat of battle as a triumph of women’s rights. Far from being “enlightened” concerning warfare, twentieth-first century America has become a nation of barbarians.

President Obama’s words — made on the day his administration announced that hundreds of thousands of combat roles would be opened for women — reflect the attitude of much of our nation’s populous: “Today, every American can be proud that our military will grow even stronger with our mothers, wives, sisters and daughters playing a greater role in protecting this country we love.”^[7]

In last week’s State of the Union address, the President took the occasion to trumpet this policy change to an estimated 33.5 million viewers, stating that “our sisters and daughters . . . are ready for combat.”^[8]

What should be sounding instead is a lament. The weeping prophet Jeremiah offers mournful words fit for the occasion: “Mine eye runneth down with rivers of water for the destruction of the daughter of my people. Mine eye trickleth down, and ceaseth not, without any intermission . . .” (Lamentations 3:48-49).

While all life is precious in God’s sight, we have erred in concluding that the death of G.I. Jane in combat is no more terrible than the death of G.I. Joe. Women should not be placed in harm’s way to defend our nation, and rather than celebrate what should be mourned, we should cry out to God to humble our hearts in repentance.

Only then will the scales be lifted from our eyes and our hearts be made tender to protect the weaker sex.

[1] Chris Good, Mary Bruce, and Luis Martinez, “Military Warned to Maintain Readiness as Women Move Toward Combat,” ABCNews.com, January 24, 2013.
[2] Dexter Filkins,“A Routine Burst of Chaos Leaves a G.I. Wounded,” New York Times, May 26, 2004.
[3] “Broad Support for Combat Roles for Women,” Pew Research Center, released January 29, 2013.
[4] David S. Cloud and Tony Perry, “Military to lift ban on women in combat,” Los Angeles Times, January 23, 2013.
[5] This discussion of Adomnán’s reforms is derived from original Medieval sources as recorded in: the Kuno Meyer, Editor and Translator, Medieval Sourcebook: Cain Adamnain: An Old-Irish Treatise on the Law of Adamnan (Oxford: Clarendon Press, 1905).
[6] Maurice Keen, Chivalry, originally published in 1984 by Yale University. Citation taken from the Folio Society’s deluxe edition (London: The Folio Society, 2010), pp. 7-10.
[7] David Jackson, “Obama backs women in combat,” USA Today, January 24, 2013.
[8] A full transcript of President Obama’s 2013 State of the Union Address can be accessedhere  .

Originally Posted at http://www.visionforumministries.org 

The Problem With Education: We Don’t Know What it Means, But the Government Does

I read a quote from G.K. Chesterton that prompted this post:

“The most important fact about the subject of education is that there is no such thing. Education is not a subject, and it does not deal in subjects. It is instead the transfer of a way of life.” -G.K. Chesterton

We believe that “education” is the transference of knowledge. And so we argue over who is best qualified to transfer knowledge so our children will be properly educated. When actually, knowledge is only a small part of a total education.

The question we should be asking is, “Who is qualified to ‘transfer a way of life’to my children?” and “What ‘way of life’ matters to me?”

For example, who is teaching my child that he is fearfully and wonderfully made (as is his neighbor), foundational to who he is, who he will become and how he will live out his purpose? Or, is he being taught that since there is no Creator, life doesn’t have intrinsic value? Even this one part of our children’s worldview radically affects the life-choices they’ll make.

Who is teaching her that application of knowledge is more important than a letter that grades short-term memory? Who is taking her by the hand, showing her the world and how everything is related to everything else? Who is telling her that “wisdom calls out” and that she is equipped to search for and find it on her own?

Who is telling him that everyone has different strengths? That he can run with his brilliance as an artist and not be labeled if he doesn’t demonstrate equal ability in math?

Is it good enough for someone else–something else–to shape the very life of my children, their opinions, beliefs, values and self-worth?

I have long maintained that education can not be “neutral”. Assuming that education is, indeed, a transfer of a way of life, this fact becomes more obvious.Every institution, whether family, school, church or other, imparts a belief system where something or someone determines the values inherent to that system.

Unfortunately, founders of the modern system of education understood this well–that education shapes people, not just teaches them the three R’s. Those like John Dewey voiced his intention to use the classroom to erode any faith except the religion of humanism*. And largely, under the guise of “learning”, Christians regularly submit their children to the transferring of a way of lifeby a system that rejects most of their core values and beliefs.

As a Christian, submitted to the lordship of Christ, I am bound to “transfer a way of life” to my children that is wholly consumed with Him. Education, means then, to a Christian, that all facets of life–including the small one of imparting knowledge–must spring from an inherently Christian worldview–a transferring of life, lived out each day in a thousand ways.

Education: It’s so much more than academics! Let’s not pluck this small part out and make it an idol while neglecting what it means to prepare children for ALL of life.

* “I am convinced that the battle for humankind’s future must be waged and won in the public school classroom by teachers that correctly perceive their role as proselytizers of a new faith: a religion of humanity that recognizes and respects the spark of what theologians call divinity in every human being…The classroom must and will become an arena of conflict between the old and new — the rotting corpse of Christianity,together with all its adjacent evils and misery, and the new faith of humanism, resplendent with the promise of a world in which the never-realized Christian ideal of ‘love thy neighbor’ will finally be achieved.” Humanist Manifesto

Originally Posted at www.generationcedar.com 

10 Ways For Mom's To Respect Their Sons

By jen Smidt

START EARLY

It is never too early to start showing that you respect your sons. I know as a young mom I was so concerned about discipline—when, where, why and how to discipline. I wanted this bundle of boy contained into a well-behaved, manageable package. Is that offense punishable by swat? Is he disrespecting me? Why is he so loud and messy? While those are fine questions to ask, looking back, I would rather have spent more time asking myself if I was treating my boys with respect.

My sons thrive in our relationship when respect is generously given. If I want them to look for a wife who respects them one day, I better demonstrate what that looks like now.

WHAT IS RESPECT?

Let me first say respect is not making my son an idol and bowing down to his every need. Respect is defined as a deep admiration for someone elicited by his or her abilities, qualities, or achievements. A mother’s respect is also not based upon her son’s achievements at the beginning (unless you count squirting her in the eye with confounding accuracy at diaper changing time).

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If our boys are continually being shielded from natural consequences, they will have a distorted sense of self and sin.

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A mother’s respect for her son is founded upon his image bearing of her heavenly Father and belief that God has given her a powerful gift to steward for a season. A mother’s respect is born out of respect for Jesus and the cross: his life makes my life and my son’s life possible. A mother’s respect is based upon her trust in God to develop a godly man, husband, father, and leader out of the tiny one that she holds but for a brief moment.

WHAT RESPECT LOOKS LIKE

I wanted to offer some practical principles to help show what it looks like for a mom to respect her son.

1. SET JESUS AS THE STANDARD

There is no man other than Jesus who demonstrates perfection. You will never go wrong in upholding him as the source, pointing to him as the example, and depending upon him for the answers.

2. PRAY FOR THEM AND OVER THEM

You aren’t in control of their lives, you never will be. What better time than now to put yourself in submission to God’s plan for your sons by releasing them in prayer? Mothers have an awesome responsibility to pray for the intimate details that she knows about her son’s heart.

3. WATCH YOUR TONE

Respect is often given and destroyed in the little things. I know the look in my son’s eye when I speak to him with a harsh or shaming tone—it is the pain of disrespect. Speak graciously, kindly, and firmly to your sons.

4. LET THEM MAKE DECISIONS

Start small with choices like red or blue shirt, and move to increasing responsibility over time management and bigger life choices. Give them opportunities to lead in your home: chores, devotions, and family nights can be planned and executed by sons growing in maturity.

5. SERVE THEM

Love them with food, fun, folding of laundry. Let them see that you are willing to sacrificially serve them. Teach them to be grateful and one day they may actually thank you.

6. TEACH THEM TO SERVE YOU

Respectable men serve others. Servanthood does not come naturally to most of us. As you cheerfully serve your son, make sure you instruct and involve them in active service also. There will come a time when it is no longer sacrificial but sinful for you to be folding your boy’s undies.

7. NO SECRETS

Hidden sin is an insidious trap for men. Cultivate a climate of open confession and generous forgiveness. It is much more powerful for your son to feel like he can freely confess sin than have to hide in fear of your reaction.

8. NAME SIN BIBLICALLY

Do not fall into “Boys will be boys” thinking. Differentiate between childish foolishness and downright rebellion. Instruct the former and correct the latter. Name their sin with accurate descriptions from Scripture so they can repent.

9. NAME CHARACTER BIBLICALLY

Read to them and have them study passages of Scripture that speak to men (1 Cor. 16:13-14). Have them memorize passages of Scripture that describes their identity and riches available to them in Christ (Ephesians 1) so they can rejoice.

10. LET CONSEQUENCES FALL ON THEIR HEADS

Respectable men recognize the painful effects of sin. If our boys are continually being shielded from natural consequences, they will have a distorted sense of self and sin. Let them feel the pain of their sin coupled with the restorative effects of grace.

Mothers, respect your sons. Give them this gift early on and by God’s grace, they will grow in respectability and become the godly men we recognized in them from the start.

Originally Posted at www.TheResurgence.com 

The Danger of Moralistic Parenting

If a majority of our children are leaving the faith as soon as they can, something has gone terribly wrong.

Certainly the faith that has empowered the persecuted church for two millennia isn’t as thin and boring as “Say you’re sorry,” “Be nice,” and “Don’t be like them.” Why would anyone want to deny himself, lay down his life, or suffer for something as inane as that? Aside from the “Ask Jesus into your heart” part, how does this message differ from what any unchurched child or Jewish young person would hear every day?

Turning God into Santa

Let’s face it: most of our children believe that God is happy if they’re “good for goodness’ sake.” We’ve transformed the holy, terrifying, magnificent, and loving God of the Bible into Santa and his elves. And instead of transmitting the gloriously liberating and life-changing truths of the gospel, we have taught our children that what God wants from them is morality. We have told them that being good (at least outwardly) is the be-all and end-all of their faith.

This isn’t the gospel; we’re not handing down Christianity. We need much less of Veggie Tales and Barney and tons more of the radical, bloody, scandalous message of the God-man crushed by his Father for our sin.

“ Instead of the gospel of grace, we’ve given them daily baths in a 'sea of narcissistic moralism.'”

This other thing we’re giving our children has a name—it’s called “moralism.” Here’s how one seminary professor described his childhood experience in church:

The preachers I regularly heard in the . . . church in which I was raised tended to interpret and preach Scripture without Christ as the central . . . focus. Characters like Abraham and Paul were commended as models of sincere faith and loyal obedience. . . . On the other hand, men like Adam and Judas were criticized as the antithesis of proper moral behavior. Thus Scripture became nothing more than a source book for moral lessons on Christian living, whether good or bad.

Teaching Good Manners Instead of Salvation

When we change the story of the Bible from the gospel of grace to a book of moralistic teachings like Aesop’s fables, all sorts of things go wrong. Unbelieving children are encouraged to display the fruit of the Holy Spirit even though they are spiritually dead in their trespasses and sins (Ephesians 2:1). Unrepentant children are taught to say that they’re sorry and ask for forgiveness even though they’ve never tasted true Godly sorrow. Unregenerate kids are told they are pleasing to God because they have achieved some “moral victory.”

Good manners have been elevated to the level of Christian righteousness. Parents discipline their kids until they evidence a prescribed form of contrition, and others work hard at keeping their children from the wickedness in the world, assuming that the wickedness within their children has been handled because they prayed a prayer one time at Bible club.

The Bible Isn’t a Book of Fairy Tales

If our “faith commitments” haven’t taken root in our children, could it be because they have not consistently heard them? Instead of the gospel of grace, we’ve given them daily baths in a “sea of narcissistic moralism,” and they respond to law the same way we do: they run for the closest exit as soon as they can.

“ Good manners have been elevated to the level of Christian righteousness.”

Moralistic parenting occurs because most of us have a wrong view of the Bible. The story of the Bible isn’t a story about making good little boys and girls better. As Sally Lloyd-Jones writes in The Jesus Storybook Bible:

No, the Bible isn’t a book of rules, or a book of heroes. The Bible is most of all a Story. It’s an adventure story about a young Hero who comes from a far country to win back his lost treasure. It’s a love story about a brave Prince who leaves his palace, his throne—everything—to rescue the one he loves. It’s like the most wonderful of fairy tales that has come true in real life.

This is the story that our children need to hear and, like us, they need to hear it over and over again.

Originally Posted at www.TheResurgence.com 

How I Pastor My Family

Justin Hyde Acts 29 Pastor - Brenham, Texas


Many people ask me, "What do 'family devotions' look like at your house?" or, "How do you pastor your family?" or even more simply, "Do you pray or read the Bible with your wife and children?" Here is one attempt to answer those questions.

1. Routine

Our family works best with a routine. My wife and I, and our children, have a reasonably regular weekly schedule. Our "family devotions" fit into the larger rhythm and routines of our household (e.g. dinner, bedtime, etc.). Additionally, it is important to note that there are explicit and implicit aspects to our daily spiritual devotion. The bulk of the explicit aspects happen at night between when I get home from work and when I go to bed.

2. Intentional Evenings

I get home from work between 5:30PM and 5:45PM each night. But I have to prepare myself before 5:30PM so that I can hit the ground running when I walk in the door. Though I am invariably tired from my day's work, I have to remind myself that the most important part of my vocation happens after 5:30PM, not before. I am tempted to mentally "clock out" on my drive home, which would be easy. Yet I have to consciously prepare myself to give more energy, more attention, and more dedicated focus as soon as I walk through the door and am greeted by my 5 year old son, 3 year old daughter, newborn son, and wife than I have all day. This takes prayer, practice, and intentionality. It's easy to fail.

Husbands/dads, don't clock-out on your way home; be ready to be present and engaged; don't let your kids or wife expect to hear your formulaic: "I'm tired;" turn your phone off (I recently read something like this: "If you touched your wife as much as you touch your iPhone your marriage would be in a much better spot."); cancel your cable TV; repent of your addiction to new projects, hobbies, and distractions.

Wives, be gracious; be forgiving; learn and grow with your husband; make your home inviting and pleasing; manage the stress level (for you and the kids) before dad gets home (i.e. don't let the water boil all day so that it's boiling over the top right when dad's car pulls up).

3. Time To Play

We eat dinner at 6:00PM. So I walk in the door and devote myself to the kids for 20-30 minutes. Rarely do I take 5 steps into the house before having a 5 year old around my left leg and a 3 year old around my right leg (and now, often, a baby in my arms). Dads, your kids are ready to see you. Ready to punch you. Ready to kiss you. Ready to play. Ready to build. Ready to read. And of course your wife needs this from you too if she's making dinner or just needing a break after her long day. Husbands, remind yourself daily that your wife is likely more exhausted than you are by 5:30PM. Serve her well. This is also a good time to teach the kids about setting the table, helping to pick up the living room, honoring mom, serving a younger sibling, etc. But mainly this is a good time to play.

4. Mealtime

We always eat dinner together around the dinner table. My wife is hospitable, creative, thoughtful, carefree, and eager to worship through a shared meal. Our table is often decorated with candles, and sometimes flowers. We drink wine. We celebrate. We laugh. We joke. We make silly faces. We eat great food. We often, almost without fail, enjoy a dessert. We hold hands to pray. We take our time. Our children are watching and learning and savoring all of this.

5. Cleanup

After dinner we usually clean up (sometimes we wait until the kids are asleep). The children help with dishes, help put things away, help clean up. It doesn't take long and the payoff in relaxation and focus is often worth the price of clearing the table and loading the dishwasher. Yet regardless of whether we clean up now or later, our attention is devoted to the children from 5:30PM to 7:30PM. After dinner, we play. We read. We build towers. We go on adventures. We explore. We tickle.

6. Bible Time

At 7:15PM we all start winding down and I tell the kids: "15 more minutes of ____, and then it's 7:30PM." My kids know exactly what I mean. At 7:30PM it's Bible time. We all gather in the living room (if we're not there already); we get the Bible; and the kids pile on my lap. For the longest time we read the ESV Illustrated Family Bible. This Bible uses the actual ESV text but the stories are selective and the images are great and colorful.

Recently, we began using The Early Readers Bible only because Jonas received it as a Christmas gift. This is a great Bible too, but it's not the actual ESV text, which I prefer. It's a Bible written for young readers. Our 5 year old can blast through this easily, and sometimes I'll let him read during our devotional time, though rarely. At this stage I think it's important for me to lead this time and shepherd them as I read aloud. The great thing about The Early Readers Bible is the questions after each section. Very helpful.

Dads, it's important for you to call the family together. Don't force mom to keep looking at her watch, to always be waiting for you, to nag you to get started. Call the family together. Get the Bible. Know where/what you're reading. Lead your family. Wives, this may be new or unfamiliar for many dads. Go easy on him. Encourage him. Honor his leadership. Don't undermine. Don't criticize. Model respect and love for your children to see. And remember, the kids are watching.

7. Questions & Answers

After we read a section of Scripture I ask questions. I ask questions about the story, about the characters, about the doctrines or themes within the story, about applying the text to the real life of 5- and 3-year-olds. In addition to asking questions about the text itself, our children also memorize the Small Children's Catechism by Chris Schlect. I cannot overstate the importance of catechism in the home. Someone has said, "Preaching without catechism is like building a house without pouring a foundation." So true. Other helpful resources are The Big Book of Questions and Answers (Sinclair Ferguson), My 1st Book of Questions and Answers (Carine Mackenzie), and Big Truths for Young Hearts (Bruce Ware).

8. Family Prayer

Then we all pray. We take prayer requests (this is important because the kids need to see dad asking mom how he can pray for her). And each of us pray. Sometimes I ask the kids to pray for certain things. Sometimes I ask the older to pray for the younger. Sometimes they want to say the Lord's Prayer (which means you need to help them memorize it when they're two or three). Sometime it's random.

Moms and dads, you need to guard this time so that the children don't grow to despise it. This needs to be an encouraging, graceful, loving, fun, sometimes silly, patient, and fruitful time. Be honest with one another. Teach your kids how to care, how to be sensitive to others' needs, how to articulate what they're feeling. Make disciples.

9. Bedtime

Now it's bedtime. Love those kids. Hug and kiss and tickle and snuggle like crazy.

10. Explicit vs. Implicit

Most of the above routine is explicit training and devotion. Yet each of those elements fit into the larger mosaic of what it means to be a part of our family. These explicit elements would only go so far (but not far enough) if not paired with the implicit aspects of the daily spiritual development that are more subtle and mundane.

The implicit aspects are the constant opportunities to listen to your kids, to talk to them, to tell them about Jesus, to tell them about something you read in Scripture, something you've wondered about God, to connect the dots between dinner and worship, to live a life of celebration and sacrifice.

The legitimacy of your "devotion time" is only as solid as the legitimacy of your devotional life. In other words, I reap the rich spiritual benefits at 7:30PM each night because I tilled the soil that morning, during the day, at dinner, and so on. Quality time doesn't replace quantity. In fact, you can only enjoy the quality because you've invested in the quantity. The implicit is the foundation that sustains the rest, only most people don't see the foundation so it's easy to ignore.

Please know, I fail often. I need much grace. God has given me a forgiving wife and patient kids. Husbands/dads, this is the most important work you'll ever do, and it will have more impact than anything you could imagine. Wives/moms, encourage your man to lead; create conditions in which he can succeed. Couples, be patient and forgiving. Don't be short-sighted. Love well. And savor your time together.

May God help us pastor our families well.

Originally Posted on The Resurgence Blog: http://theresurgence.com/how_i_pastor_my_family

Discipleship Starts at Home....

Part 2 Winfield Bevins (From: TheResurgence.com)
Discipleship Starts at Home Series [Part 2 of 2]

Start Early

You can and should teach your children basic Christian beliefs and how to memorize Scripture. This can be both fun and educational. You can choose short Scriptures to begin teaching your children. As you continue to learn the Scriptures, you can use longer passages such as the Ten Commandants and 23rd Psalm for when you and your children feel ready to go deeper. You can also use a short family catechism with questions and answers for you to discuss together that will help your children learn basic Christian doctrine.

Here are a few practical ideas that may help you disciple your children:

• Find a good children’s Bible.
• Remember to have fun with your children while learning the Bible.
• Keep the time brief to hold the child's attention.
• Recite the verse several times a day in your child's presence so it becomes familiar to them.
• Make flash cards with Scripture on one side and the book, chapter, and verse on the other.
• Put the verse to music or rhythm. Your child will enjoy singing and clapping their hands.
• Think of fun activities to make the verse fun and easy to remember.
• Tell them you are proud of them and have them recite it to someone else, like a grandparent or teacher.
• Pray with your children every day at meals and before they go to bed at night.

The Revolution Begins at Home

If we want a revolution of discipleship in our nation, it will have to begin in our homes. Discipleship begins in our marriages, by loving our spouses with the love of Christ. It happens by teaching, loving, and disciplining our children. When we bring the gospel back in the home, it will spread through our neighborhoods and into the communities where we live. If every family in every church got serious about making disciples in the home, it would change our world.

The great Puritan Pastor Richard Baxter knew the importance of family ministry. He said, “We must have a special eye upon families, to see that they are well ordered, and the duties of each relation performed. The life of religion, and the welfare and glory of both the Church and the State, depend much on family government and duty. If we suffer the neglect of this, we shall undo all…. I beseech you, therefore, if you desire the reformation and welfare of your people, do all you can to promote family religion.” Let us not neglect our duty to disciple those who are within our very homes.

Discipleship Starts at Home....

Part 1 Winfield Bevins (From: TheResurgence.com)
Discipleship Starts at Home Series [Part 1 of 2]

“A house is actually a school and a church, and the head of the household is a pastor in his house.”
–Martin Luther

The Great Need

I am the lead pastor of Church of the Outer Banks, located in Nags Head, NC. I am the husband of an amazing wife and the father of two incredible little girls. More than ever before, I see the importance of integrating faith in the home every day. Statistics for divorce are rising at an alarming rate. Statistics also show that between 70 and 88 percent of Christian teens will leave the church by their second year in college. More than ever, it is time for us to step back and rethink the importance of discipleship in our own homes.

Don’t Neglect Your Family

What good is it if you make disciples of your neighbors, co-workers, and friends, yet neglect to disciple your own family? This is what Paul meant when he said, “If a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?” (1 Tim. 3:5). This Scripture is not just for pastors, but is also applicable for all Christian parents. The reality is that we are not putting enough focus on discipling our own families, and instead we tend to leave the responsibility to the church.

Disciple Your Children

The call to “make disciples” begins in our homes first. It is our spiritual responsibility as parents to teach our children about the faith. The Bible tells parents, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6). As Christian parents, we should desire for our children to have a firm foundation and grow up to love Jesus and know what the Bible says about their lives.

Faith as Routine

Faith is not just something that we do once a week, but should be incorporated into the daily routines of the home. David Wegener said, “Reading and memorizing Scripture and the catechisms of the church results in incredible development of children, both spiritually and intellectually… What families regard as important is evidenced by the manner in which they spend their time.” How do we spend our time? Watching TV, playing video games, or shopping? Sadly, many families devote more time to these things than they do teaching their children about God, or just simply spending quality time together.

It’s Our Responsibility

It is not the churches’ or schools’ responsibility to raise our kids. Too often, we think that the church is more like a baby-sitting service to watch our kids for a few hours a week while we enjoy the worship service. While church is important, the Bible tells us that the home is the primary place of learning the Bible and moral instruction. In Deuteronomy 6:4-9, we read:

You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

To be continued.